I still remember everything clearly. My mother was an evening session teacher and will usually be home around 7pm. But that day, she came back around 3 something. She told me that shes feeling feverish and asked me to play quietly downstairs while she rest in her room. Not even more than 15 minutes, I heard her calling for me and my maid. She was laying on bed, wrapped tightly using TWO comforters, the fan and air-cond were not even switched on. She was shivering really bad and keep on saying "..sejuk..".

Well I know something wasnt right so I called my dad and asked him to come back home immediately. Then I went running to my neighbour's house and asked her to come to my house and check on my mom. By the time I reached home, mother didnt look that good anymore. She's vomiting blood all over the place. Blood were everywhere. Apart from her vomit, blood started to come out from her nose and ears. And eyes. It looks like my mother was crying tears of blood.  Imagine a 6-year-old girl has to witness her mother going thru all that. Yes it broke my heart. It broke every little piece of childhood innocence that I have. Watching the person you love the most suffer in front of you, how I wish it was me instead of her. Long story short, the doctor tried everything to save her. She lost so much blood so the doctor wanted to replace all the blood but it was useless. Her body rejected the blood and lastly, the doctor asked us to gather around her. So that she will be surrounded by her loved ones while facing her death. I wasnt there. But from what I heard, she fought bravely til her last breath. She didnt even say a word. She bit her tongue to fight whatever pain shes feeling inside. When she finally passed away, the doctor even said that she almost cut her tongue off bcs she was biting on it so hard.

My mother was a strong and brave woman. And I, as her one and only daughter, what choice do I have? Everytime I meet someone who used to know my mother, they often told me that I really look like my mom. Almost identical. And secretly, that makes me happy inside. Im happy to know that even after all these years, I still have something as a proof that I am my Mama's daughter. After all, among my siblings, Im the only one who inherit Mama's beautiful face and fair skin. Yes Im proud of how I look like. Not because I perasan cantik or over confident like you haters LOVE to say but bcs I look identical to the strongest woman I've ever known. How could I not be proud? How could I not love myself?

Dear Mama, 16 years ago you left me but even now, why do I still miss you so much? I keep on wondering to myself, if you are still around, what kind of person would I grow up to be? Will I still have this unbelievable strength and confidence in me? Most important of all, I really wanted to ask you something. Been meaning to ask you this since forever. Mama, are you proud of me? Am I a good daughter for you? Do you ever regret having a daughter like me? I miss you so much mama. Al-fatihah to arwah Helen binti A. Rahman.

Just a friendly reminder 😇

I still remember everything clearly. My mother was an evening session teacher and will usually be home around 7pm. But that day, she came back around 3 something. She told me that shes feeling feverish and asked me to play quietly downstairs while she rest in her room. Not even more than 15 minutes, I heard her calling for me and my maid. She was laying on bed, wrapped tightly using TWO comforters, the fan and air-cond were not even switched on. She was shivering really bad and keep on saying "..sejuk..".

Well I know something wasnt right so I called my dad and asked him to come back home immediately. Then I went running to my neighbour's house and asked her to come to my house and check on my mom. By the time I reached home, mother didnt look that good anymore. She's vomiting blood all over the place. Blood were everywhere. Apart from her vomit, blood started to come out from her nose and ears. And eyes. It looks like my mother was crying tears of blood.  Imagine a 6-year-old girl has to witness her mother going thru all that. Yes it broke my heart. It broke every little piece of childhood innocence that I have. Watching the person you love the most suffer in front of you, how I wish it was me instead of her. Long story short, the doctor tried everything to save her. She lost so much blood so the doctor wanted to replace all the blood but it was useless. Her body rejected the blood and lastly, the doctor asked us to gather around her. So that she will be surrounded by her loved ones while facing her death. I wasnt there. But from what I heard, she fought bravely til her last breath. She didnt even say a word. She bit her tongue to fight whatever pain shes feeling inside. When she finally passed away, the doctor even said that she almost cut her tongue off bcs she was biting on it so hard.

My mother was a strong and brave woman. And I, as her one and only daughter, what choice do I have? Everytime I meet someone who used to know my mother, they often told me that I really look like my mom. Almost identical. And secretly, that makes me happy inside. Im happy to know that even after all these years, I still have something as a proof that I am my Mama's daughter. After all, among my siblings, Im the only one who inherit Mama's beautiful face and fair skin. Yes Im proud of how I look like. Not because I perasan cantik or over confident like you haters LOVE to say but bcs I look identical to the strongest woman I've ever known. How could I not be proud? How could I not love myself?

Dear Mama, 16 years ago you left me but even now, why do I still miss you so much? I keep on wondering to myself, if you are still around, what kind of person would I grow up to be? Will I still have this unbelievable strength and confidence in me? Most important of all, I really wanted to ask you something. Been meaning to ask you this since forever. Mama, are you proud of me? Am I a good daughter for you? Do you ever regret having a daughter like me? I miss you so much mama. Al-fatihah to arwah Helen binti A. Rahman.

Just a friendly reminder 😇